When the World Is a Lie

When the World Is a Lie

A girl sits alone in a room
With silent tears sliding down her red face.
She is alone, and scared
And has returned to darkness.

As she cries, she looks down,
A bottle in her hands
Full of little white pills
Meant to take away the pain.

“Father…he said I need one everyday”
She drops the antidepressants
Smashing them on the ground under her foot,
Some roll crossed the hard wood floors.

“He said it would take away the pain,”
Salty warm droplets fall freely
As she realized what a lie she lived
With the help of medication.

“The world is huge, scary,
I don’t know if I can handle it.
I don’t understand why…
Why I am so scared,”

She is left alone
With no one to talk to,
No one to suffer with her,
She has nothing but her silence.

The girl cries the nights away
While during day she speaks not.
She is questioning her life
Questioning her faith.

She is trapped in her shell of a body
As if it was a prison, dark and dirty.
The world is her warden watching her
As she is forced to clean the same spot
Over and over again as the world
Just keeps throwing trash in there.

“People hate me,” She’d mutter as she cleaned.
“People think I’m bad
I’m not worth it
I’m can’t take it anymore!"

Someone has told the girl
“Sometimes it's better to see the world as a lie
If we didn't, we'd all be crazy.
You really have to look on the bright side of things,
Even if it is hard to find a bright light full of hope.”

But the girl, she’d smile sadly and say
“You're right I should try harder,
But sometimes I get this feeling that I have nothing left,
Other than people hating me.
I get so worried that everyone will leave me,
I'll be left alone to find my own sad ugly truth of happiness.”

She would cry again, and that night
Stare at the black sky
Watching the moon pass gently like a cloud.
She’d wish she was a cloud, free and weightless.

“I know, that won't happen,” She’d tell herself
“But I'd like to try if not have something happen,
Maybe a line will be crossed,
And everyone will see just how messed up everything is.”

Imagine a world through her eyes,
When people die, she doesn’t cry.
When people are married, she doesn’t cheer.
When she gets good grades she doesn’t smile.
She can’t, not when she’s left with one emotion.

She saw the world as nothing,
But felt no depression. Yet at what cost?
No longer she felt happiness as well.
She felt nothing while she stood still
And the world moved on.

She’d talk to herself when she was alone,
She’d say “It endless loop and when I step out of line I get punished”
And she would wonder,
What if it all stopped?

What if she melted into the floor?
Dug a hole and jumped in?
When will the lies of suffering end?
And she got what she was looking for.

She found out
Seconds before she told her friend those very question,
That all you need is one person
And life will still be worth the breath you take now.