PrussiaXReader – My heart Is Yours
A/N: …. Welp…..I go this idea well because someone I know and cared about greatly just died, is it a bad thing that I’m venting my depression through writing? No? Kay then.
My head felt extremely light. And a rush of cool air, sounds, and lights overcome me. I let out a slurred sound and I felt a hand squeeze mine. “D-dad?” I forced out.
“Hey pumpkin. Your surgery went well. How are you feeling?” Yeah, that was my dad sitting next to me. He was the only one that called me that. I squint trying to look at him but my eyes have yet to adjust to the light. But slowly I try to sit up. Worst move of my life right there. My entire body burns in pain.
I let out a gasp as I press one of my hands to my stomach. Another wrong move. Under the hospital gown I could feel stitches all along the side of my stomach. “I-I…I don’t feel that great. W-what happened?” I feel tears threatening to fall from my eyes. Quickly I swipe them away.
“Don’t you remember? You have been sick for the last few days as we waited for you to get your appendix to be removed. Unfortunately it ripped open suddenly. But the doctors were quick enough before any real damage happened.” Dad explained to me then gave my hand a quick squeeze again.
I nod my head, finally able to see again. Looking around, I recognized the room. I struggle with a laugh “Dr. Jones put me in the same old room again didn't he?”
Dad laughed a bit too looking around “Yeah, and you’re on his list again to be carried for by him and Nurse Kirkland.”
I smiled at the memories “So how long will I be here?”
“Well love, you know that depends.” A new voice entered the room. It was Nurse Kirkland, although he let me call him Arthur. And I was the only patient able to do that.
Behind him I saw my doctor. Dr. Alfred Jones. He also let me call him by his first name. Why? Because this hospital is my second home. I’m just out of high school, and on my way to college, but not for a while. I wanted to spend at least a full year out of school.
“I want to keep you in here for at least a week doll” Alfred said looking over a clip board.
“Because of my leukocytes or my SSS?” I asked tipping my head. I am a very sick person. Now not in a perverted way, as in I get sick about every other day sick. I am always so sick because of my Leukocytes, or low white blood cell account which meant my immunity was ten times blew average.
I was held back my sophomore year of school because I missed so many days of school. That’s how often I was sick, and that’s how often I spent my time in the hospital. At least twice a month I was here.
But I was here twice a month not just because of my leukocytes, but because of my SSS to or Sick sinus syndrome. Sick sinus syndrome is a collection of heart rhythm disorders. Such things like slow heart rates from the natural pacemaker of the heart; Sinus pauses or arrest, when the natural pacemaker of the heart stops working for periods of time. Which meant I had revers heart attacks whenever I was stressed or when I got excited. My heart would beat about 10 beats per second. If this was not stopped, my heart could rip apart, literally, and I would die.
Alfred cleared his throat, bringing me back from my thoughts “W-well, for both. On your ride here in the ambulance, your heart started to speed up. We did not have the tools to stop your heart at the time so it started to rip-”
“Wait so you are saying my daughter’s heart currently has a hole in it?!” Dad’s voice raised up with fear as he spoke.
“Nononono!” Alfred rushed shaking his hands. He was having a hard time speaking. By know I knew what that meant, Alfred was never good at delivering bad news. Especially to his patients. So Arthur took it upon himself to explain.
“What he is trying to say is that when we stopped your heart, and we stitched back up the rip in it. Your fine but we want to keep you here for as long as we can. We don’t need you to be sent home and the next day be back in that bed.” Arthur pointed to where I was sitting. “So we want you here for two weeks, three at most. You are in very critical condition ________. You might die if anything conflicts your emotions enough to speed up your heart beat.”
I slowly nodded my head. Did I also forget to mention I have died about 100 times now? Yep! I have! Whenever I have a revers heart attack, the doctor’s must electrically shock me and stop my heart for at least one minute. In my whole life, I have been dead about 100 times. Pretty cool huh?
“Dad?” I ask looking over to him.
He smiled and looked at me. His face was stressed with lines of worry. He has been working so hard to keep me safe and happy. “Yes pumpkin?”
“D-did…..Mom ever..?” I started
“…No pumpkin…I’m sorry. She didn’t come.”
I felt my lip tremble a bit. Arthur and Alfred also took that as their cue to leave. They shut the door behind them as they go. “Oh...Okay. I guess something came up.” I knew nothing came up. Mom just didn’t want to see me.
My parents never got married. I was born when my mom was nineteen. She never wanted me. But kept me anyways. She started her life and is now the CEO of a business thing for fashion. She took little care of me, when I was younger. I always went back and forth between living with my parents.
But one day, when I was ten, I had enough of my mother ignoring me. And so I told my dad, we went to court. And he got full custody of me. I had my last name changed to be the same as his, not my mothers. And even now, as her daughter was sick, almost died, she still did not show up. Love you to mom I thought bitterly.
“_____, honey. I’m sorry” Dad said and hugged me. I hugged him back and let a few shy tears fall.
“It’s o-okay dad. I don’t really care anymore.” I said forcing a smile
He pulled away looking at me “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, see! I’m fine” I clean away my tears and smiled. But I started having trouble to breath, I wheeze and hack a bit and soon my dad is rubbing my back helping me to sit up.
“C-can you make sure to ask Arthur for my inhaler?” I coughed a bit. Oh yeah….I also had Asthma. I can thank my mom for that because she loved smoking whenever she was around me.
“Yeah, no problem pumpkin. I have to go now anyways. So I’ll ask him on my way out. You’ll be okay, alright? I’ll see you later” He kissed my forehead with a smile and got up.
“Wait, b-before you go, could you open the w-window…and leave the door open? I’d like a breeze in here p-please?” I ask shakily.
Dad smiles and dose just as I asked before he waves another good bye and leaves out the door way. I watch him through the hallway window too as he goes. Once I know he can’t see me anymore. I started to cry, but hard this time. I hate this! I hate how sick I always get! I hate how mom never shows up even when I could die! I hate my life! I wish I could just drop dead once and for all!
Gilbert was staring up at the white ceiling. His mind completely blank of anything awesome. The room was a dull white and he could hear the busy hospital around him rushing to save lives. “It’s a wonderful day to save lives my ass.” He grunted in bitterness.
He missed his friends, he missed his brother, he missed being able to run around outside and have fun. Most of all he missed his little bird buddy.
“Curse my awesome albinoness!” He hissed as he sat up. Because he was an albino, he also had Leukocytes. Not that bad of it, just often he’d get a flu......and then it was life and death he was playing with here people!
“I don’t even feel bad. I’m fine! I’m awesome, too awesome to be here! Nothing is wrong with the awesome me and everyone knows it!” he grunted. But he was only fooling himself. What he had, for about a year now, had no cure.
He flopped back down to lay on his back. He shut his red eyes and started listening again to everything around him. The sounds of wheels rolling the floors went by. Some chick must have been giving birth down the hall.....or about to because someone was screaming in pain. Graah this place is creepy Gilbert thought as shivers went down his spine.
He could hear the sounds of other heart monitors. He happened to not have one today, for his doctor said that he was fine to be without one for just this day. He would be hooked up again tomorrow because some girl a crossed the hall needed it more than him instead and they didn't have one to spare at the time being.
He listened on some more. Frowning he could hear crying Wonder who died? he thought. He was about to ignore it when he heard the cry again, but the crier spoke.
“I just wish I could die already!”
He frowned sitting up, whoever was crying was close. He looked over to the window in the room. And a crossed the hall..... It’s that girl who need my heart monitor.....what’s wrong with her?
He saw this girl with (h/l) hair that was slightly messy. Her locks were a beautiful shiny (h/c). Even if she was just as pale as Gilbert, he thought she looked pretty. He smirked I should ask to room with her~ Damn him and his perverted mind!
But then he took another look at her door set ajar. “_-______ _______?” He spoke her name out loud. What an odd name. But I guess it’s pretty cool. Totally not as awesome as mine though Keseseseses~!
Although he thought very dirty things, he didn’t like seeing this girl cry. To be honest he hated to see any girl cry. Unless she deserved the humility to cry, like some slut girl who got told off, now he would laugh at a slut girl crying because it’s funny and true. But he could tell that this girl....._____ should not be crying.
Seeing how the awesome me is bored, and has nothing better to do. I think I will spread mein awesomeness! It was settled, Gilbert sprang easily from his bed thanks to not cords hooked up to him. He only had an IV. He felt like he did not need it that bad and pulled it out!
“How much you wanna bet that stupid British nurse will through a hissy fit because I have no IV?” He asked himself. Dammit he was lonely! Maybe he could ask Francis to smuggle in Gilbird his next visit.
He walked a crossed the hall with ease and leaned in ________’s door way with a smirk on his face. He cleared his throat to make a sound to let her know she has been blessed with his awesomeness.
She looked up quickly with puffy dull (e/c) eyes with fresh tears staining her face. She had mixture of fear and confusion displayed on her face.
Gilbert instantly regretted his once awesome idea. He smiled sheepishly thinking of a good explanation. Because come on, it’s not every day some random dude standsin your door way like he is god. Any sane person would think otherwise.
“Haha…Sorry Mädchen.” He started. “I stay over the hall and I could not help but notice how un-awesomely you must feel.” It was not just any normal day when Gilbert Beilschmidt did this type of community service.
She blinked and her mouth hung for a second. She tried several times to speak but nothing came. “Keseseseseses~! You must be blinded by my awesomeness!” He stated proudly and walked further in the room. He took a seat next to her.
“W-well…It’s nice of you to care and all. But who are you?” She asked.
Gilbert smirked and pointed to the heart monitor next to her. She slowly followed his finger and looked at the monitor.
“Gil-bert Beillashhh words? Your last name I cannot pronounce.” She said bluntly as she looked back to him.
Gilbert was taken aback by this She is so straight forward! He thought in shock. “It’s Gilbert Beilschmidt, say it with me-”
“Is this your monitor?” She asked cutting him off, her voice muffled a bit.
“Oh ja! Doc said I’ll have it back tomorrow. He also said you need it more than me or something like that. But the awesome me is fine with giving that away. I’m sure I would never need it anyways! You can even keep it if you like _______” He grinned looking at her.
She whipped her head to look at him again with furrowed brows in anger and even more confusion. Oh she looks pretty cute when she is upset~ he thought with a laugh.
“How do you know my name? Please don’t tell me you’re a hallucination and my meds just started kicking in.” She gave a heavy sigh and started to hang her head.
Gilbert laughed “Oh no! Your name in on the door!” he laughed so more and watched as she facepalmed herself.
Now she looked irritated “Why are you even here Mr. Incredibly hard last name to pronounce?”
He frowned “I already told you it’s-”
“I don’t care, just why are you here?” She asked again.
“Hmph, fine. I was bored and saw you a crossed the way crying. I thought I could cheer you up with mein awesomeness.” He simply stated.
And thus, a conversation was born.
I rolled over onto my side. I have been in this stupid hospital for already two weeks. Nothing happened, I didn’t get sick , I’m fine okay! I want to go home now!
I look at the clock; it was about two in the morning. Groaning I sit up and hop off my bed. Pulling all the cords with me as I go over to my window to open it and let in some of the cool night air.
I smile happily when a breeze comes through. It sent chills down my spine, the good kind that make you shiver in delight. As I lean on the wall, letting the night air engulf me, I heard a peep. At first I ignored it, but I heard it again.
I open my eyes and look around; no one was in my room.
Again I look around seeing nothing still! Then I look out my window. I hardly could see anything other than the lights of the city. So I thought nothing of it.
Okay, maybe I’m just really tired and my stupid brain is playing tricks on me again.
Alright! This is no trick! The peeps are getting louder and they are really annoying now.
So, I open up the window more and tried looking around again. This time, I spotted something moving on the ledge. I narrowed my eyes as I looked harder.
“ Peep peep~ Peep peep~ ” It sang and jumped a little closer to the window screen. I gasp looking at the cute little bird trying to get in.
“Awwwwww~!” I mini fangirled looking at it. “You’re so flufffffffy~!” I squeaked
“ Peep peep~ ” the little bird sang again, pecking at the screen. Man did he really want in.
I looked around; making sure no one was watching me. Animals were not a loud in the hospital, and I was one to always follow the rules but how could you say no to this little guy!
“Oi! He is a real chick magnet!” I spoke then giggle trying to mimic Gilbert’s accent.
Over the past week or two, we really became good friends. I met his brother, and his two just as perverted friends. He met my dad and few friends of mine. I sound cliché for saying this, but it was really awesome, he was really awesome.
Even if he was an annoying pervert with stupid pickup lines, no sense of personal space, and don’t get me started on the ego of his, and that stupid laugh.....that always got me laughing. And his happy go lucky personality, how he always cheers me up. And the way he could brighten up the room....GAH What am I think! Get a hold of yourself ______!
“ Peep peep~ ” I blink shaking my head at the sound of the little bird.
“Oh sorry little birdy!” I smiled and pushed open the corner of the screen. Enough just so the little guy could squeeze on in. “The awesome me thinks you are the cutest and most awesome little bird I have ever seen” I mimic Gilbert again and started laugh.
The little bird peeped and peeped again in excitement. “You are really cool” I said petting the top of his fluffy head. Now that I thought about it, didn’t I know this bird from somewhere?
“Maybe I should ask Gilbert if he knows.” I said to myself as I scooped up the birdy. Then it hit me. “Gilllllbird!!!” I look down at my hands to see the little yellow puff ball peep again and again. Like he was happy I found out who he was or something. “Oh my....god!” I said in pure shock.
I walked over the window that let me see into the hallway. I looked over into Gilbert’s room, he was still awake! And he was watching TV! I looked down at my hands then back to the window. I had to get this little guy to him somehow or at least get Gilbert’s attention.
I knew how sad he was when he told me he missed his best friend. At first I didn't expect his best friend to be a bird. But I thought it was cute and sweet of him to love this little guy. “Hold on Gilbird, I’ll get you to daddy soon” I grinned with determination.
I couldn't leave the room because I was hooked up to a bunch of monitors. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t try Morse Code using the blinds on the window.
So I flicked on the light and set Gilbird on my bed. And first things first, get Gilbert’s attention; I needed him to open his door. I went on for about a few minutes flashing the blinds like a creep before I did eventually get him to notice. He looked at me like I was crazy as he made his way over to his window.
I laugh waving at him with a wicked grin and held up my finger for him to hold on while I went and grabbed Gilbird.
I stood in front of my window, and I laugh and stuck my tongue out at him. I saw him gasp and frown sticking his out at me. Then I slowly lifted up my hand that had Gilbird in it.
At the sight of his master, the little birdy started peeping and jumping and flapping his wings in excitement. “Oh my god this is just so cute!” I said gushing over the love these two had.
Gilbert’s jaw dropped. I watched as he looking around, and started freaking out. W-wait! Was he crying!?
In the meantime, I walked over to my door and opened it. I might not have been able to hand deliver this cutie, but I could set him free to fly simply a crossed the hall couldn’t I?
Gilbert got the memo and opened his door.
“Oh my god! G-Gilbert are you crying?” I asked as he swung the door open out stretching his hands out.
“SHUT UP!” he yelled then smiled “Come here Gilbird! Come to Vati!” he called for his little bird.
Gilbird jumped out of my hand and into the air as he glided over to Gilbert. I never thought I would see a man cry over being reunited with his pet bird. But I did. It was just so sweet.
Gilbert then stopped his laughing and stopped the little bird from crawling all over him. He placed the bird on his head then looked at me in a bit of horror. He smiled sheepishly then gave me a death glare “You didn’t see anything.” He spoke darkly.
I grinned and held up my hands in mock surrender. I then moved my hand a crossed my lips and locked them shut. “My lips are sealed. I won’t tell anyone.” I said with a smiled.
Gilbert smiled too in a more relaxed kind of way “Danke Fräulein. Where did you even find mein awesome little buddy?” he asked.
I shrugged. “He was outside my window begging to get in. I didn't know he was Gilbrid until after I let him in.”
Gilbert smiled again, and not one of his cocky grins but a real one. “Really, danke you _______. This means a lot. Even if Gilbird did all the work to get here. Isn’t that right little buddy?”
“ Peep peep~ ” Gilbird sang as he got all comfy cozy on the albino’s head.
I laughed at their fondness of each other “It was nothing Gil, really.” I yawned and stretched my arms over my head. I caught the ‘Prussian’ mid-stare.
Grinning I pose and stretch some more “Like what you see~? Don’t worry Gilbert, I’ll be sure to tell Francis and Antonio your one true weakness is boobs now.” Fuck....he was turning me into a pervert! But it was worth it by the look on his face.
You know what; it’s that bad being a pervert. It’s actual kind of fun to flirt and mess around with people. Now I understand why he does it all the time. I’d have to remember to not overdo it like him though.
Even in the low lighting I could see him blush! But he smirked trying to hide it. “It’s not a weakness, it’s a blessing.” He laughed.
I rolled my eyes “Yeah yeah, whatever you lovebird~ I’ll see you in the morning Gil, ahhh what is it again? Guten Nacht~?” I waved my hand at him and blow a kiss before closing my door.
Gilbert slowly sat up as he woke up from his little cat nap. “Naaaaaag....Life is so boring without _______ here now.” He complained to Gilbird, who was sitting peacefully on the bed sheets next to him.
All he ever did now was sleep. But at least he had his visits from _______ to look forward to. After she was released from the hospital, every day she would come and visit him. And she has been doing this for about two months now.
And here was the bonus. She forced Francis and Antonio to come along. I think they are more willing to see me than anything if she is coming along He thought rolling his eyes.
But Gilbert longed for the days were he would walk a crossed the hall and hang out with ________. He really missed her. He missed her beautiful smile. He pretty (e/c) eyes. How she would laugh at the weirdest things. How she would not punch him or smack him with a frying pan when he said jokes.
So he sat there. Waiting for her to come back to him. That girl he just could not get out of his head. Little did he know just how she felt too.
I was walking with Gilbert’s friends who I quickly became friends with as well. I even got to know his brother more and quickly became friends with the stoic German as well.
I looked over to the strict blonde that was walking to the right of me as we went to see Gilbert. I loved how I forced them to visit him at least once a week now. Before they hardly ever came to see him, and from the way Gilbert said it made my heart break in two. Hopefully it really didn’t!
“Hey Ludwig?” I asked
“Hmmm?” He grunted but kept looking forward at the path way ahead. Francis and Antonio trailing behind us. I hope they like the view..... I thought sourly for second. Knowing just the reason why they stayed back there.
“Do you know what Gilbert has? I asked him a few times but he just shrugged it off like it was nothing.” I said sadly. He looked healthy and acted healthy. Nothing looked wrong with him. So why should I worry? Because people lie. And Gilbert was a masterfully liar at heart.
“Ja, I do.” Ludwig simple stated.
“Then can you....tell me?” I asked sweetly. Maybe if I got more on his good side he’d spill the beans.
I looked at him shocked “What?! Why not!?” I cried
“Because, he asked me not to tell you not matter what the circumstance” Ludwig said.
I frowned and turned to look at the two behind me. I watch as the quickly choose to look in another direction. Francis started to whistle a tune and Antonio pointed at nothing in the sky.
“What about you two!? Did he say anything to you?” I demeaned.
“Oui, but we are sworn under code not tell you” Francis said.
I frowned even more in anger “What code?!”
“Why the Bad Touch T-Tr-…T-trio cooode!” Antonio struggle over saying ‘trio’ causing me to raise an eye brow at him as he burst into tires. Wonder why he is so emotional today...? He is always the happy one! Even when he is sad that Spaniard still smiles like a creep!
“Whatever, I’ll find out sooner or later!” I pouted crossing my arms in a huff.
“Sooner than you think mon ami..”Francis muttered sadly.
The way he spoke, it got me worried. I thought about Gilbert, I have known him for at least four months now. I have really grown to love everything about him. My heart burned as I thought about something happening to him. Fear grew inside me at the thought of losing him. He maybe well...he maybe Gilbert but I really did love him! He always was there for me; he made me feel happy and safe! I don’t care if he may not love me like I do him, but right now I just want him safe and happy too. I want to know he will be alright....
I shook the thoughts out of my head, but it did not stop the burn and pain coming from my chest. As we walked, I struggle to breathe, I started feeling light headed and my chest felt like a thousand knives were trying to cut their way out of my heart.
My eyes widened in horror at what was happening. I grabbed a hold of Ludwig’s arm to make him stop walk.
As he stopped and look down to me, I looked back up with watery eyes fill with pain. But I forced a smile “I...I’m sorry, But you wouldn’t happen to have anything to drink with electrolytes in would you? You just strike me as the kind of man to carry around a Smart-Water or Gatorade or something.”
Ludwig shook his head slowly in confusion “Wh-”
“Well then, ahh oww god! Could you get me to the ho-hospital!?” I wince and let out a grunt of pain as my knees grew weak and I clutched my chest in pain. Ludwig grabs a hold of me before I fell to the ground.
“Mi amgia what’s wrong!?” Antonio rushed over to my side.
Francis quickly came over too. “I think she is having a heart attach!” he cried in fear.
“No!” I shouted shaking my head. “ A revers heart attach!” I yell out, pain went through my whole being. It hurt so bad that I could not help but let a few tears fall. “M-my heart, it-it’s going to explode!”
“Explode!?” Ludwig repeated the look on his face showed worry and even some fear.
“Like, go boom!?” Francis asked.
I shook my head quickly. “No you are fucking idiots! My heart, ouch fuck! It’s beating so fast it’s going to rip open and k-kill meee!” I cried out trying to stand up again.
But instead I was quickly tossed over someone’s shoulder. I didn’t know whose and I dind't care because the pain was so bad I slipped into a world of black.
Gilbert was playing a game with Gilbird when someone, or should I say, some people walked into his room. He grinned before he looked up to see who it was. Instantly thinking it was his friends, Ludwig and ______. “Geeze it took you guys long enou- ...” His grin dropped “W-what’s up with you guys?”
Antonio was the first to break the silence. He did so by running over to Gilbert and overwhelmed the albino in a hug and tears. He was pretty emotional today, which was really unlike him.
“Lo siento mi amigo! Lamento realmente me gustaría poder haber hecho algo!” Antonio ranted on as he spoke at the speed of lightning.
Gilbert slowly hugged his friend back in confusion. He turned to Francis and mouthed ‘What happen to him?’
Francis smiled sadly “Désolé Gilbert, you know how he has been lately about this. But something happened on our way here.”
Gilbert tipped his head in confusion. “What happened?” he asked looking over to his brother, standing in the door frame with eyes glued to the floor. Why does everyone look so upset!?
Antonio lifted himself up and wiped away some tears. “______ had something she called a revers heart attack.” He muttered.
Gilbert froze up. “What?” he asked in a monotone. He blinked, _______ told him all about why she was in the hospital, why she knew this place and everyone in it so well, what she had that made her hate everything about her life the most.
Gilbert also understood the danger she was in, she explained every little detail to him if this was to happen to her again. “Is she okay? Please mein Gott tell me she is okay!” Meine arme Liebe! Not long after she gets out of this hell hole she is back in here! This is so un-awesome for her.
“She is fine, or so we were told Burder. Her Vater is on his way to see her too.” Ludwig said as he finally made slow steps into the room. He sat down in a chair next to the hallway window.
Gilbert sighs in relief, at least she was not dead....yet.
“You really care about la fille don’t you mon ami?” Francis asked, his blue eyes glazed over matching his sad smile.
Gilbert chuckled bitterly. “Ja, I guess I do.”
“You are evil Gilbert! Mal que decir!” Antonio frowned. “You can’t do this to her! Not in your condition!” he scolded some more.
“Bitte, but I already have.” Gilbert laughed some more at the world in anger. But he slowly hung his head Oh ______....what have I done?
“Nuu, p-p-please sto-op” I squirmed, someone was sitting next to me, holding me in their embrace.
“Pumpkin please wake up.”
“D-daddy?” I ask through gritted teeth, clamped together in agonizing pain.
“_____!? Oh thank god you are okay!” Dad wrapped me up in a tight hug the pulled away, brushing some of my messy (h/c) strands out of my face. “Are you okay?” he asked carefully.
I blinked, thinking about, then slowly nodded my head. “Can I j-just sleep for now? If that’s okay...”
Dad nodded his head and kissed my forehead. “That’s fine pumpkin, do whatever you have to to feel better.”
I only grunt in reasons before falling back asleep.
Gilbert stood in her door way. His face hiding all emotion.
It was not long after he watched _______ be put in the same room as before, her father, come and go. And all his friends checked on her then left as well. Now it was his turn to see her.
She looked so calm, and peaceful laying there. Her (h/l) locks of (h/c) framed her face in a messy, but somewhat cute fashion. It was a shame he could not see her eyes twinkly the way the always did when she laughed.
He sighed plopping down in the seat next to her bed. He managed to get that nurse to let him visit her. Only because Kirkland knew how much Gilbert met to her.
He sat next to her, watching her sleep as he wrote his thoughts on some paper. Because he did not have his beloved weird journal to write in, he used paper he found every now and then and stashed the writing away.
Gilbert looked back up to ________. She was just awesome in his mind. Maybe even more awesome than him? But he really did care about her. He grabbed a hold of her hand and shook his head. What the hell am I doing!? I’m not a softy like this. I don’t get upset over someone! The awesome me cannot be like this!
Oh how he lied to himself. He loved her, he loved this girl and he was dooming her now as he started at her laying there, fast asleep, unaware of what was to come.
“I’m sorry ________.” He spoke hanging his head.
He felt the grip on his hand tighten. “So-sorry for what?” a shaken and shallow voice asked.
He quickly looked up to see a smile clinging on to _______’s face. He grinned “O-oh, nothing meine Liebe. I was just worried about you!”
______ slowly tried to sit up, but gave up when her breath hitched and pain over took her again. Shaking her head with a blush on her face, that he thought was super cute, she said “You, the awesome Gilbert? Worried about me, I must be in heaven.”
He chuckled. “Trust me meine Liebe, if you were in heaven we would not be in the hospital. Besides, as awesome as I am, you are just as awesome too! Look at you, dead for the 101st time! I’m sure I can only die once and that’s it for me.” He ruffled up the hair on top of her head with a grin, trying to lighten up the mood. It wasn’t always when he was depressed like this.
She swatted his hand away. “G-gilbert?” she started
“Was liebe?” he looked over to her, forcing a smile.
“What does that m-mean?” she asked. “What you keep calling me?”
Gilbert laughed and looked away with a shy grin. “O-oh! Nothing nothing _______! Don’t worry about it.”
“Can I take a guess?” He heard her ask, she slipped her hand from his grasp. He could have sworn he felt his heart drop.
“J-ja...if you like” Oh please don’t let her get this right! There is a reason why I say things in my native tongue! I don’t want her to know! he mentally cried.
She was smiling for a second then turned her head to look at the albino. She slowly raised her hand and quickly flicked his forehead. “You know I have been trying to learn German because of you. It kills me not knowing what you say.” She smirked slightly and then took his hand again.
She looked up at the ceiling, and then closed her eyes with a smile. “I know.....I know that, Ich liebe dich, means I love you. And what you said; liebe means love. And mein I can figure out on my own.”
Gilbert’s heart skipped a beat; he loved the way she said that. He loved how easily those words rolled off her tongue. He stared at her wide eyed, loving that she was able to speak German so easily, and that she was learning it for him. No one has ever done something like that before for him. And he loved it, he loved her and her everlasting kindness and how she was beautiful in his eyes no matter what.
“Well then ________.” He started as he shifted in his seat. “It seems you rated me out.”
She giggled lightly as she looked back over to him. “I guess I have, so what are you going to do about it.”
Gilbert smirked devilishly and looked down at her through narrowed eyes that sparked with a fiendish idea “This~”
What. The Hell! Gilbert fucking Beilschmidt was kissing me! Alright, it’s settled, I’m in heaven. Nuff said.
Although at first, the way he looked before he kissed me, it seemed like he was going to get up and flip a table. But instead, he grabbed a hold of my face gental, and slowly closed the distance between us. I think he was teasing me with the wait and just invading my personal space.
But once his lips met mine, it was worth the wait. At first he was completely dominate about it, but soon we both melted into it.
But it was short lived because my heart monitor started to freak out. He quickly pulled away with a grin. “Oh I better be careful, my awesomeness may kill you liebe~”
I rolled my eyes. I was about to comment back about his awesomeness when he pushed me over to the other side of the bed and crawled in with me. He made himself more than comfortable as he lay on his side, propping up his head with his hand. He grinned at me then made a kissy face.
“I think I should call Francis in to paint you.” I smirked as he laughed.
“_______ can you say more things in German?” Gilbert smirked. I raised and eye brow to him and slowly, and painful shift to my side to copy the way he laid. He smiled at me as I thought about it.
“Nein” I simple said. I could tell he was not sure to be happy or not. But that glint in his beautiful red eyes told me otherwise.
“Bitte~” He cooed sweetly
“Nein, ich will nicht auf.” I smirked, but watched as Gilbert shut his eyes and smiled. It was like he really did like it when I spoke. Well he was out of luck, I didn’t know much more. I liked learning German, and I can thank Ludwig for that. He saw no harm in teaching me, and that was freaking awesome.
“________” Gilbert started then opened his eyes. “Say that one thing again from before, bitte?”
I blinked, “Which one? I said many things.” I could not help put tease.
“You know what I mean Liebe” He said with a slight grunt.
I sigh, I knew what he meant. So I reach out a grab his free hand “Really? You want me to?”
He chuckled and grasped my hand to “Of course!”
I slowly shook my head “Only if you say it with me you pest!” I teased.
“Alright, I can do that~! Count on three?”
“Ich Liebe Dich” I spoke first while Gilbert tricked me with a smirk. I frowned and push him but he quickly came back and gave me a kiss.
“Ich liebe dich auch~” He said and pulled me over in a hug. I can’t help love this annoying little creep. And I don’t mind being with him at all. Gilbert gladly stayed with me for the rest of the night too.
You know, I think I hate the awesome me. Because I am evil just like Toni said I was. Gilbert thought to himself as his doctors told him their predicament.
“Mr. Beilschmidt? Do you understand what we just said?” Ask Dr. Jones.
Gilbert quickly shook his head then look back at the doctor. “Hmm, oh ja, ja I got you. I know what this means so don’t put me through the sob stories. Just, get out.” He gave a wave of his hand as he turned and faced out the window to the outside world he may never see again.
“But Mr Beils-”
“I said get out!” Gilbert hissed not looking back at them.
They shuffled out quickly leaving the angry Prussian to think to himself.
What am I going to tell ________? he thought as he slowly looked out the hallway window and a crossed the way. He could see her sleeping happily. A smile formed on his face and shrugged I don’t need to tell her anything for now.
Gilbert sank down in his bed, pulling the covers up and over his head. He really was not looking forward to this at all. He could feel Gilbird peeking away at the covers trying to come in and hide too. But Gilbert didn’t let him, he wanted to be alone and sulk in his misery while he still could.
“Gil~ Wake up! Come on Gilbert I have present for you!”
Gilbert ground and swatted away the hand poking at his face. “Naaarrraaaaawrrr!” He ground and rolled on to his other side.
He heard a huff then his bed started to move. Then he felt presser on him. He slowly cracked open an eye trying to see who the hell was waking him up.
“Naaa! ______! W-what are you doing!?” He asked instantly walking up when he found the (h/c) haired girl sitting on top of him with a devilish smirk.
“Well my dear you would no walk up. I was hoping you did before I went into phase two of my plan~” She explained making herself more comfortable on him.
He blinked, surprisingly he was not really in the mood for messing around and doing things that often Gilberts do. He frowned “Shouldn’t you be in your room, hooked up to all your heart thingers to make sure you won’t die?”
She shook her head “Mostly, I’m in the hospital for a day or two when my heart freaks out. I’m going home now actual. I wanted to come tell you goodbye.” She slowly started getting off of him.
Gilbert frowned “Don’t say that.” He said with furrowed brows.
“Gil, are you okay? You’re acting a bit stranger than normal. And that’s not a good thing.” _______ said as she now stood next to his bed.
Gilbert did not say anything at first, but then he reached out and grabbed her hand then pulled her all the way down to him, embracing her in a hug.
________ did not understand at first, but returned the hug nonetheless. “Gil, you’re o-okay right?” She asked, worried laced in her voice.
Gilbert forced a laugh and pulled away “I’m okay! Keseseses~ Geeze ________ you worry to much about me.” His smile started slipping away and he pulled her into another hug. “Just, come and visit me every day okay Liebe? Und r-remember I love you alright?”
She still had her doubts, but ________ nodded her head and smile “Yeah of course Gil. I love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow, kay?” She pulled from him with another smile gave him a quick kiss.
“Yeah, see you tomorrow”
I still didn’t feel right leaving Gilbert that day. He didn’t look very happy. And I was right about him not being okay. Over the week, he became less energetic than his normal self.
He was trying very hard to hide it. That I could tell from a mile away. And even now as I sit here next to him, watching him slowly pet Gilbird in a sad fashion, I can only think to myself; Something bad is going to happen.
“Hey Gilbert” I look over to him.
He does not look up but lets out a grunt in his response. Is it just me or is he starting to act like Ludwig more and more often. But after he grunted, he started to cough, hard. It sound like it hurt him so much. He had dark bags under his eyes, and he hardly did anything but pet his bird now a days.
I reach out and start to rub his back as his coughing fit came to a long and terribly end. He quickly laid himself down and frowned looking up at me. He reached out and grabbed my hand. First placing a tender kiss on my skin the pulling me into a passionate kiss the heated my lips agents his.
Soon he broke the kiss, struggling for his own breath, but he smirked “I’m sorry ________.” he whispered.
I looked at him, blinking then slightly tipped my head “For what?” I gave a half smile. But it instantly dropped. My heart slowly picked up speed in fear and stress as I looked at Gilbert.
He was smiling, but struggling to breathe. Hardly any air made it into his lungs even if he made small gaps for air. He coughed a few more times and shut his eyes and hissed out a line of curses. He was obviously in pain too.
I hurriedly grabbed his hand and he looked at me, still smiling, but it dropped a bit into a half ass grin. “F-for th-this” He slurred out and shook his head slightly before coughing again.
I looked up to the monitors he was hooked up to. I watched as it started to flash, and numbers started to drop. Soon it let out an alarm as his blood presser got to high.
My eyes widened in horror as reality hit me. He was dying. My heart started to freak out right there. I bit my lip as that same burning pain rushed over my body OH HOLY FUCK NOT AGAIN! I mentally scream.
How could this get any worse!? Oh that’s right, I passed out. Right there, I could feel the stress on my heart starting to take hold and pull each which way. It was just too much. Thinking about Gilbert dying, it set my heart into a fiasco.
“Crap!? Alfred they are both dying!” Arthur yelled as he took _______’s pulse.
“I know!” Alfred yelled as he looked at Gilbert “There is nothing we can do for him. But we can save her!”
“How!? Her heart is beyond repair and we need a donor now if we are going to save her! You know we don’t!” Arthur yelled as he started to pick _______ up off the floor.
Alfred pressed his lips then had an idea. He knew ________’s blood type and everything by heart now. So he ran over and looked at Gilbert’s charts. He flipped there the papers then grinned.
“Prep the OR we have a live cardiac transplant to perform!” Alfred said then set out a page to his medical crew.
“What!? A match really? Bu-” Arthur was cut off as Alfred laughed.
“Dude we don’t have time for your neurotic shit! I found a match and today; is beautiful day to save one hell of a life!” Alfred beamed.
A few more nurses came in and took Gilbert first, and then moments later they took _________.
You would think I grew use to pain over many years of living in the hospital part time and having so many surgeries. But no, a new pain encased me. I shot up as quickly as I could once my senses returned to me.
I wasn’t alone in the room, and I looked around, this wasn’t my normal room either. I took a second look, narrowing my eyes, this...this was Gilbert’s room!?
“Gilbert!?” I let out, my voice was high pitched and scratchy like I have been screaming and now my throat turned raw.
The people in the room, who were all sleeping, steer and start to wake up.
The first person I recognize is my mother. Why is she here? I frown. But then I see my dad next to me, sleeping while resting his head on my bed. I slightly shake his shoulder, he grunts and slowly sit’s up. “_______?”
“Dad!” I let out and hug him, as soon as I moved my chest burn and I grew in fear that I was going to have another reverse heart attack. But nothing happened. I move away from my dad, and touch my chest, instantly I move my hand away, something hard, at least 10 of them stuck themselves in my chest.
Quickly I take peek and see that I had stables...”W-what?” I frown and see my dad watching me.
“_______, I’m Sorry” He said grabbed my hand squeezing it.
“What do you mean!?” I asked in fear, my heart beat picked up, and I felt this fluttery feeling of fear, not a burning torch of pain. “What happened?! Tell me dammit!” I never cursed in front of my father but I had to know what happened after I fainted, I could only remember last seeing Gilbert passing out before I did!
“You had a heart transplant.” Someone said, I recognize the voice, it belonged to Ludwig His voice sounded kind of bitter, but yet empathetic at the same time. He was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room. Some little puffy yellow thing sat in his blonde hair. Gilbird, he should be with Gilbert, shouldn’t he? I thought.
“Explain it to me” I demand.
“You have a new heart, as simple as that.” Ludwig informed as he slowly crossed his arms.
I blinked shaking my head “I understand that part, but what about Gilbert?” I asked tipping my head.
Antonio was here to it seems because he ran up to me, crawled up on my bed and hugged me to death. “He is dead! He died and has left us for a better place!” he cried
“I thought you said you would find out on your own. He had cancer...” Antonio said as he pulled away to look at me. “And he was donor...and you...you got his heart.”
What... “What?! N-no! I don’t want it! I don’t want this I don’t want his heart! I don't want it! Take it out!” I cried as tears bubbled in my eyes and they stung as they fell onto my cheeks.
“But he left it for you” It was Dr. Jones, he entered the room not a few minutes before. He had a few papers in his hands. He smiled sadly. “That Gilbert of yours, he was smart. He put this in with his charts. He knew this day was going to come, so he must have thought ahead.”
He hands over a few papers to me. I clean away some tears and pushed Antonio aside so I could take them. Sniffling I look them over. They were a bunch or little journals. Going all the way back to when he first got here. But then I read a newly dated one.
Dear who ever just happens to look at this when I fucking die,
I want to leave some sort of will. Seeing how I was told I am as good as gone by next week. I leave everything I own simple to west, mein little bruder. I even will give him my sweet little buddy Gilbird, unless that little birdy wants to stay with someone else, maybe with _________ to keep her company once I’m gone. But speaking of mien awesome liebe, I want to leave her mein heart, literary and figuratively. She needs a new heart, the one she has now is bad and she has died about 101 times with that piece of un-awesome meat.
I don’t really have anything else to add here, so....yep
From the Awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt
I quickly blink away tears reading it over and over again. He really wanted this? I shake my head, looking at the other thing; it was an envelope, with my name on it written in beautiful hand writing.
I rip it open and dig out the letter inside, it reads;
Dear mein awesome Liebe, _________,
I’m so so so so so so sooooooooooo sorry you have to read this! Do me a favor, and hug the closets person to you! I don’t care who it is....well actual I do. If it’s some random stranger then just remember all the hugs I gave you okay?
This letter...it’s so un-awesome. But The awesome me had to write it for you. Because you are awesome too. I love you and you are probably the only person in this whole wide world that is more awesome then me! And that’s come from the king of fucking awesome liebe! And I’m going to pass my awesomeness on to you, okay?
I leave you my heart; take care of it for me, okay? Don’t go out and get drunk and have heart attack or something the next day. My heart has been yours for…Gott I don’t know how long. But for long enough I have loved you. So I’ll give it to you willingly. I am writing this now as I watch you sleep, you just got out of some surgery because your own heart freaked out on your walk we with West, Frogs and Toni. So I’m making up my mind now. I know I’m going to die, and I think it’s too soon for that to happen. But it sucks to suck, I know.
I think in the back of mein awesome mind, this sounds weird, because I have only known you for a matter of maybe four or five months now. Not a lot of people are so...dramatically outgoing as we are? I mean, West told me that I should stay away from you! Can you believe that!? No, I could never do that, not even to you. It would hurt us both too much. He said that stupid same old saying by the way.
Like West should be couching me on fucking dating....yeah whatever. He said that stupid ‘you’re moving too fast’ thing. But if you think about. I’m not, I only have so long to live and I wanted you to know that I do love you _______. I also wanted you to know that you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. That’s why my heart is yours now. And besides. You look super cute sleeping there as I write this~! Keseseseseses~! Gilbird even likes you so much he is sleeping on your head too! Awww, you guys are so cute together~! This is so awesome!
Gah! I should get back to the topic here! ________, All that I am saying…is that please stay strong for me. Even if I’m gone, my awesomeness lives on in you. Not just that, but you're making the last days of my life the best days ever! You even got mein friends to visit me so much more than before. You made everyone so happy! I just love everything about you. And hey, Do me another favor, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But someone is going to have to take my place in the Trio. Could you do that for me? Bitte?
I know you well enough that you have that little flirty dark side you don’t show anyone! I see it in your eyes whenever you make little dirty jokes! AND YOU THOUGHT I WASN’T LISTENING! BUT I WAS! KESESESESESESESESE! You have got what it takes to be in the Trio I know you do! YOU WOULD BE PERFECT FOR IT! Ahem....anyways. It would be so awesome if you could because the Bad Touch Trio must live and and stay a trio, there is a reason for the name liebe. Don’t let me down, okay?
I stare at the letter thinking to myself. I squeeze my eyes shut tight and let a few tears slip down my face. “Alright” I said. Everyone looks over at me. “I’ll do it. I'll stay stay strong, I'll take your place. I'll stay happy for you Gil....” I mutter then smile.
Your heart is mine forever Gilbert Beilschmidt. And I'll never let go.....